


It doesn’t matter (but it does)

by Mystical_giggles



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Coming Out, Established Relationship, Hopeful Ending, I changed the summary because I didn’t really like the first one, Kinda, Leslie Goodmom, M/M, Several POVs, Some Fluff, T.J’s parents are the worst and he deserves better, my last fic was pure fluff so we’re going to angst city with this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-20 19:22:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19383166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mystical_giggles/pseuds/Mystical_giggles
Summary: “So, are there any boys that you like?”, she asked as she put her elbows on the table and rested her chin in her hands.Cyrus couldn’t help his smile. It was weird having his mom ask him about crushes, but it was also kinda nice.“Yeah...um..you know TJ?”, he said and poked around on his empty plate with his fork.“TJ Kippen?, asked his mom. “Of course”, she smiled wider.“Yeah....actually, we’re kind of together”, he said and looked up from his plate.His mom was still smiling but then all of a sudden her face dropped.“Oh”, she said.Cyrus and TJ decide to come out to their parents on the same night and they get very different reactions.





	It doesn’t matter (but it does)

**Author's Note:**

> So I’m continuing my journey through storylines I would’ve liked to have seen in season 4. This one is a lot more angsty than the first one but there is still some fluff!
> 
> I hope you enjoy it!
> 
>  
> 
> CW implied homophobia

“You’ve been really quiet tonight Cyrus”, his mom said during dinner.

 

It was just the two of them tonight since his stepdad was away for the weekend on some working trip.

 

It kind of made this the perfect night to do what Cyrus had planned on doing for a while now. It didn’t make it any easier though.

 

He had been too wrapped up in his own thoughts to be able to listen or reply to most of the things his mom had been telling him during dinner.

He kind of wanted to forget the whole thing and tell her another time, or maybe just not tell her at all, but he and TJ had decided to do this together. They were both coming out to their parents tonight.

They had talked about it a long time and then last week TJ had told him that he wanted to do it the week after. They had also decided that they could tell their parents about each other.

TJ planned on telling both his parents at the same time which was a lot easier for him, since his parent were still together, than for Cyrus, who´s parents were divorced . Cyrus was only telling his mom but he still felt like puking every time he thought about it.

He knew that TJ wouldn’t care if Cyrus told her tonight or not. He had even said that Cyrus didn’t have to feel like he had to come out just because TJ was doing it. But Cyrus actually really wanted to come out to his parents and he didn’t think he would ever feel a hundred percent ready anyway. He could be waiting for that forever.

“Uh yeah, sorry”, he answered and poked around in his food.

“How does the next few weeks look for you? Do you have any big plans coming up?”, his mom asked.

 _Oh yes, quite big plans indeed_ , he thought. He put his knife and fork down on the table. _now or never._

“Yeah I, uh, I actually wanted to tell you something”, he could hear his voice shaking. He wiped his hands in his pants and cleared his throat.

His mom looked at him with interest.

He tried to remember the things he had planned to say but couldn’t remember any of it. He hadn’t felt like this, ever when coming out. Sure, he had been nervous when telling his friends but this felt different. This was his Mother who loved him unconditionally. Or at least that’s the illusion he had lived under his whole life. This conversation could change all that and that was terrifying.

He pictured TJ, in a similar situation as his, but with two parents to tell. The thought of that made him shudder. But that was the difference between him an TJ. TJ liked ripping the band aid of in one fast movement, while Cyrus preferred to drag it out, doing it a little by little.

He looked at his mom and swallowed

“I.. I’m gay mom”

He looked down so that he couldn’t see her reaction but somehow that was even worse so he quickly looked up again.

His mom was wearing a shocked expression.

He couldn’t read her at all and for a moment he saw it all before him: her hating him. Her telling his other parents and them hating him too.

His mother then changed her expression to one of love and understanding and all of his worries went away.

She reached over and put her hand on the table, palm faced up so that he could take it.

He put his hand on hers and she squeezed it.

“Honey, thank you so much for telling me”, she said softly. “And I am so proud of you and I want you to know that I love you no matter what.” She shook his hand a little. “Okay?”

Cyrus could feel his eyes fill with tears. He let out a shaky breath and nodded.

His mom got up from her chair and went over to him. She kneeled before him and pulled him into a hug.

He buried his face in the crook of her neck and breathed in her perfume. Nothing compared to being embraced by your mom and getting the feeling of being completly safe. His mom pulled away after a minute and looked at him. She wiped the tears that were falling from his eyes down onto his cheeks.

Cyrus could see that her eyes were glassy as well.

“How long have you known?” She asked and brushed the hair back from his face.

“Long”, Cyrus whispered and she nodded.

“Have you told anyone else?”. 

This time it was Cyrus’s turn to nod. “Some of my friends”, he answered, his voice a little stronger this time.

“And your dad?”, she asked. She kept combing her fingers through his hair.

Cyrus shook his head. “No”, he said. And then added hastily, ”and I don’t want you to tell him yet-” he stopped talking as his mom nodded understandingly.

“I’m not gonna tell him anything . You can tell him when your ready.”

Cyrus let out another breath and nodded.

His mom touched his cheek one last time before standing up and going back to her chair.

His mom tried to get back to making normal conversation but Cyrus wasn’t hearing anything she was saying.

His mind was still whirling with thoughts about their conversation.

He had done it. He had come out to his mom. It had felt like such a milestone for so long and it was crazy that he was now in the other side of it. He knew he would have to come out hundreds of more times but it didn’t feel as big of an obstacle now that his mom knew. She knew and she still loved.

After awhile Cyrus started to get more into the conversation even though it felt a little awkward going from talking to something so serious, to talking about his aunts new boyfriend.

When they had both finished their food, his mom looked at him with a teasing, but kind smile.

“So, are there any boys that you like?”, she asked as she put her elbows on the table and rested her chin in her hands.

Cyrus couldn’t help his smile. It was weird having his mom ask him about crushes, but it was also kinda nice.

“Yeah...um..you know TJ?”, he said and poked around on his empty plate with his fork.

“TJ Kippen?, asked his mom. “Of course”, she smiled wider.

“Yeah....actually, we’re kind of together”, he said and looked up from his plate.

His mom was still smiling but then all of a sudden her face dropped.

“Oh”, she said.

Cyrus was confused by her reaction. His mom had met TJ several times and Cyrus knew that she liked him. TJ was always polite when he was over and often helped with dinner or doing the dishes. She would often ask Cyrus how TJ was doing when he hadn’t been at their house for awhile, so Cyrus didn’t understand why she was now acting like she wasn’t pleased by the news.

“Mom he’s a really great guy and-“

His mom put her hand up and said, “I know TJ is a nice boy. That’s not what I’m worried about”

She readjusted herself in the chair and clasped her hands on the table before continuing.

“It’s just that TJ has slept over here several time and you’ve slept at his house as well-“

Now it was Cyrus time to interrupt.

“Mom that was way before we were ever together”, he said. “And it’s not like we did antything.” His last words were rushed and he could feel his cheeks heat up.

His words were true though. He and TJ had been together for five months now but they had stopped having sleepovers right when they started dating. Cyrus didn't really know why they had stopped. He just knew it felt wrong when they hadn't told their parents about them. 

His mom seemed to relax though. She gave him a smile.

“It’s fine, Cyrus” she said. Then her face turned stern. “But there will be no more sleepovers, and whenever he’s over I want your bedroom door to be open”

That made Cyrus blush even more and he let out a choked: “got it”

 

 

Cyrus helped his mom clear the table and put the dishes in the dishwasher. He thought about TJ. He hoped everything had gone well but he hadn’t heard anything from him yet. He had texted him right after dinner and had even tried to call him. He tried to tell himself that everything was fine. There was no reason for anything to have gone differently for TJ than it had for Cyrus. Cyrus knew TJ's parents and they were always really nice to him.

After another hour though, he was starting to get really worried. He tried calling TJ again but got no answer.

He went into the living room where his mom was watching something in the TV.

“Mom is it okay if I go to TJ’s for a bit?”, he asked.

His mom looked away from the TV and considered his question.

“I don’t know Cyrus”, she said. “I would like to talk to TJ’s parents first and its getting kinda late-”

Cyrus interrupted her. He needed her to understand.

“But I’m really worried about him. He was supposed to come out to his parents tonight as well but he’s not answering his phone”, he said and he could hear the desperation in his own voice. “I just want to go over there to see that he’s okay”

His mom’s expression had softened as he spoke. She was quiet for a moment.

“Okay. You can go”, she said finally. “But be home by nine”

Cyrus let out a breath of relief

“Thanks mom”

 

He hurried to put his shoes on and grabbed his jacket and put it on. He opened the door and stopped short.

Walking up the steps to his house was TJ. His head was hung low and his whole body language screamed exhaustion. He wasnt wearing a jacket and instead he was wearing a grey hoodie, his hands stuffed deep in the front pocket.

“TJ”, Cyrus said, the surprise evident in his voice.

TJ’s head snapped up to look at him. He had stopped a few meters away from the door.

The look on TJ’s face made Cyrus lose his breath. His eyes were red from crying and his lips were tightly pressed together.

TJ didn’t say anything. He just looked at Cyrus with a pained expression and then shook his head defeateldy.

TJ didn’t have to tell Cyrus what had happened. It was clear.

Cyrus took a few steps forward and pulled TJ toward him.

TJ basically fell into Cyrus’s arm and dropped his head onto Cyrus’s shoulder. Cyrus held him while he cursed TJ’s parents silently.

His good mood had vanished in an instant and everything felt unfair. TJ did not deserve this. No one did. Your parents were supposed to love you no matter what.

Cyrus hugged TJ closer while the other boy’s body shook with sobs.

 

 

Leslie Goodman’s night had been full of surprises.

Her son had told her one of his biggest secrets, her favorite character in a TV show had died in the most brutal way. And then TJ Kippen had showed up at her doorstep.

She walked up to Cyrus’s bedroom door and peeked through the doorway. TJ and Cyrus were sat at the edge of the bed together. Cyrus was talking quietly to TJ and TJ was slowly nodding his head. Their hands were clasped together on the bed.

Leslie had been surprised when Cyrus told her about him and TJ, but the more she thought about it the more it made sense. TJ had always been different from Cyrus’s other friends. He used a different voice when he talked about him. A voice that made him seem softer, vulnerable.

The way he acted around him was also different. Cyrus usually took some time before he warmed up to people but with TJ he was comfortable from the beginning. He lit up in a different way when he was around him, something Leslie hadn't seen with anyone else.

She knocked gently on the door.

“Hey” she said. Both of the boys looked up. They both looked really tired.

She opened the door a little wider so that she could let herself through.

She looked at Cyrus.

“Cyrus, could you leave me and TJ alone for a second?”, she asked.

Cyrus looked over to TJ to check if he was okay with this. TJ nodded, his eyed downcast.

Cyrus stod up and gave TJ a small smile before leaving the room.

Leslie took Cyrus’s spot on the bed. They were both quiet for a few moments but then TJ said, “I’m sorry for interrupting your evening Mrs Goodman.” His voice was rough from crying and Leslie’s felt her heart brake for him. The usual light that she was used to in TJ's eyed was gone and the look that met her instead was exhausted and dark.

She wanted nothing else than to over to the kippen’s and knock some sense into them. But right now there were more urgent matters.

“Don’t worry about that TJ”, she said. Then added, “and please, call me Leslie”

TJ tried to smile at her but he failed miserably. 

“I’m really sorry about your parents TJ”,she said. ”And I want you to know that there is nothing wrong with you.”

“I just don’t understand”, TJ said. “They can’t-“, his voice broke. “they’re supposed to love me no matter what.” He brought a hand up to wipe at his eyes. He looked up at cyrus's seeling.

Leslie put her hand over his one hand that was still on the bed. TJ looked down at their hands.

“Listen to me TJ. Your parents”, she said. “ they still love you.” She bent down to try to catch his eyes. “And don’t you ever doubt that”

He met her gaze.

“ They are just-“, she struggled to find the words. “ they just don’t understand right now. But they will”, she said firmly. ”And you don’t deserve to have to wait for them to do it and nothing about that is your fault. But I promise you that if you give it some time, it will all work out”, she said. Then added, “And in the mean time you can always come and talk to me, and you’re always, _always,_ welcome to stay here”

TJ’s eyes got teary again but he gave her a small smile.

“Thanks Leslie”, he said

“You’re welcome TJ”, she squeezed his hand once before standing up and walking out of Cyrus’s room.

Cyrus was leaning against the wall outside in the hallway, scrolling through his phone. He looked up as he heard her come out. He cast a look into his bedroom at TJ and Leslie could see how much it hurt him to see TJ like this.

She looked at Cyrus for a moment. The world could be cruel, and it worried her that she wouldn't be able to protect her son from everyone out there. TJ had experienced that cruel reality tonight and it was only a matter of time before Cyrus experienced it too. But she knew that she would have to let them live their own lives and hope, that in the end, it would all be okay.

But she would still do all she could to make them feel as safe as possible.

“Hey”, she said. “I know I said no sleepovers” Cyrus looked back at her. “But I think we can make an exception for tonight”, she finished.

Cyrus looked at her with relief. “Thanks mom, really”, he said.

“But he sleeps in the guest room” she said pointedly.

“Of course” , he said and nodded his head vigorously.

She pulled her son into a hug. “You’re a sweet boy, Cyrus”, she said. Then added, “you both are.”

She kissed his forehead one last time and then released him into the scary world.

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me on tumblr about the fic or just Andi Mack in general!


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